


Doubts

by DeCarabas



Series: Fugitives Together [34]
Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Dragon Age Quest: Justice, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-06
Updated: 2016-10-06
Packaged: 2018-08-19 22:37:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8227102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeCarabas/pseuds/DeCarabas
Summary: Two conversations about the potion quest. Hawke has always wanted Anders just as he is, including Justice.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alekth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alekth/gifts).



“Is that what you thought I wanted?” Hawke asks him. The lie about the potion, about separating. A tiny injustice, niggling at Anders for days like a splinter under his skin, on top of all the rest. “Of all the stories you could have told me—is that what _you_ want?”

And the hurt and bewildered way Hawke is looking at him is fully justified, and he’d known it was coming, but knowing that doesn’t make it any easier.

_Is that what you want?_

To separate from Justice? Yes. No. He doesn’t know. He’s made himself into a disaster but Maker help him, he thinks it might have been worth it.

But Hawke deserves so much more than he can give him like this.

“More?” Hawke echoes. “You get any more intense, and I don’t think I’d survive it.” It sounds like a joke, but Hawke’s smile is small and sad. His fingers are warm against Anders’ cheek, sliding to tangle in his hair, and then they tighten, tugging. “All I need from you is _you_. Anders, Justice, whoever you are.”

* * *

The second time he asks that same question, Hawke tastes like the lyrium he’d taken before putting himself to sleep, the memory of it lingering here in the Fade, heady and dizzying, and he kisses Justice hard and fast and determined like he’s proving a point. An awkward clash of teeth.

Justice’s fingers are at the loops of Hawke’s belt, pulling him in, and that’s Anders’ gesture. Habitual. And what Anders loves, Justice loves, helpless to do otherwise, but to act on that has always been a mistake, a distraction; he cannot be both the cause of the mages and every cause Hawke has chased over the years, it’s too much. He is cheating them both. The wrongness of it aches at him.

But it’s a mistake he cannot bring himself to regret making.

“Is that what you thought I wanted?” Hawke asks him again. For him to separate from Anders, to return to the Fade permanently, not just as a visitor in these brief moments. “Is that what _you_ want?”

It’s unnecessary to ask him twice. His answer is no different from Anders’; they are one, in this as in all else.

And when he says as much, Hawke’s smile is half-hidden, buried as he rests against Justice’s shoulder.

There is no more talk of potions.


End file.
